stinky

So i've basically stopped taking care of myself .... again. To give
myself credit, I did really well for a couple weeks. I ate really
good, healthy, balanced meals. Even breakfast! I did a yoga and
pilates routine. I went to bed before 3am.

I, in all honesty, can't figure out the last day I showered. Eww, I
guess. I think it was sunday. It's only wednesday so I don't feel too
appalled yet. I was almost late for work this morning because i was
looking up information that really didn't need to be synthesized by
me. I cried driving to work, back to the house, in the bathroom, and
back to work again at lunch ... for some reason that is lost to me. I
knew at the time. Each time. I've been taking allergy medicine for
sinus issues and also very much enjoying the sedating side effects.
Yes, it takes me longer to do my work but my crazy is asleep for a bit
so I just push down the anxious chorus pounding on my chest and can
go back to work. Mostly no harm, no foul. Mostly.

I really like Dexter. I thought the "dark passenger" metaphor/
characterization was a little cheesy these past two seasons, but it's
simple enough that it works. Definitely sad that they killed off that
one integral character that I don't want to spoil in case anyone
watches or reads, but not at the same time. I think the writers are
really good at manipulating how you feel about the characters and the
show sucks you in so well that you are able to be manipulated as
Dexter's feelings toward them change. It's really great writing. The
acting isn't shabby either.
This was going to go somewhere about the concept of the dark passenger.

What I'd really like to do is start getting up earlier. I don't enjoy
my job so I don't want to wake up just for my job and shut down when I
leave my job. I don't want to structure my days around something that
stresses me out so much and makes me grumpy and sweaty. I want work to
be something that I do in my day not the reason i get up for the day.
Does that even make sense? I don't care if it does because it does to
me.
This was going to go

I need to leave the office. This can be finished from home after
applications and shirts tonight.

out of the office before 7!!