Friday, August 29, 2008

The Pink Potpourri's AMAZING giveaway this week!!

I'm completely addicted to The Pink Potpourri's blog lately. She has amazing give-aways, great posts to keep your brain working and the cutest header (lol, design nerd, I know). Not to mention I'm participating in her great swap!!!
Check out this week's give away at the link above!!!

Yay for the house!
Man, I wish the grass was mowed! Picture is pre-storms!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I feel squishy and not good. I'm getting eggs on the way home if i can. 

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I'm freezing. I'm shaking and shivering and crying. I have possibly
the worst headache i've had all month. sorta makes you want to gouge
your eyes out. I would probably feel better if i could throw up.

I'm so emotionally overworked that i'm crumbling.

i need a warm, protective, quiet, dark bubble to live in for a few


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

emotional, projects, househome

I'm very emotional lately and it's just really not conducive to work. It's become a Tegan & Sara, Stabbing Westward, Dashboard confessional sort of day. Yes folks, that sort of day. This gloomy weather and dreary outlook sort of suck. I'm in one of those moods where every single bite is a struggle. For example, i'd really like another cup of coffee. My eyes aren't really staying open and I'm definitely dragging, but all I can think about is the 80+ calories in it, the stains on my teeth, etc.

So like six hours later ... christ on a cracker! What an exhausting day this has become. :( and it's not over. I'm hungry (again). I really want to do some projects when I get home, but sinking into the couch with a tall glass of cranberry juice sounding good. I cut out patterns for this lovely mobile last night. I also finished making the costume for the part-timer so he can look like a HUGE job jacket (that's what we call our routing folders for jobs, too much jargon, sorry. Look here for a sort-of-example of the not-so-large ones). It's made from ribbon, t-shirt, and shower curtain-liner vinyl. It turned out that we didn't need it today because they rescheduled our creative in the courtyard. The rescheduling is good and bad. But whatever. I have a meeting in six minutes so this has to be shorter than i'd like. *pout* I'm stressed out! GRRRR!!!! I also cut out squares for the quilt-style rug that I'm making from scraps and old t-shirts for the floor of the craft room. It's sort of turned into a memory quilt just by the nature of the t shirts being used. What else did I do? Nothing last night, I don't think. I've got a huge folder of projects I'd like to get started on. Many of which involve getting new materials or tools so they're waaaaaaayyyy on the back burner due to funds. I'd like to construct a makeshift light/white box for close-up photography of the finished pieces so they can get on Etsy and possibly make me feel a little less useless. I picked up a bunch of new (to me) records @ an amazing $5-per-bag sale at Refuge House's Thrift Shop. Bowls, letter holders, rings, and jewelry to come. Oh! This weekend was very productive ... we finally grocery shopped, hung frames and a tapestry and a shelf or two, I made potholders (I'm forever burning my hands trying to use paper towels in their place) ahhhh late for meeeeting!!!

Oh my @#&*$%^#(%&*)(#% stars! That was a terrible meeting. Argh. Trying to let it gooo....

So yeah, I made potholders and there's other things i'd like to get to around the house like painting the furniture outside, recovering the (freecycle) couch (yay!). I'd love to sew a long-sleeved, knee-length dress for myself. I have some beautiful grey jersey fabric that could hang nicely on someone, but not me so maybe a practice one? I need to figure out how to fix the sink and finish caulking the bathroom (already knew how to do that). I'd like to make some soft pretzels from scratch and maybe some wheat bread too. I haven't done that in a while. I know this list is quite long, but there's other things too. Anyways. More later.

I think my hair has grown out quite a bit. hmmmm....

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Talk about a day that makes you want to hide under your desk. 
*stomps foot in futile effort to make floor open up and swallow her whole* (i'm sad no one gets that anymore :( )
This tension in my chest is distracting. I can't focus and I'm really tired. 

Something positive ... i actually got a few things sorted and put away in the craft space yesterday. Small things but it's something. 

Once I'm able to take some time to photograph the things I have done. I want to try to clear out some old supplies by freecycling them, destash listings on etsy

okay i just thought that was thunder but it was a tree falling into the building or well onto the building. Right above my window. 
Not a great action shot but not easy to take from a monitor. It's creaking horribly and making the power flicker. Meep. I just hope it doesn't break into the window as it continues to fall. As if today wasn't iffy enough. Argh. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Yet again, finances stress me out

It's really hard not to be frustrated with many situational sources of stress. I'm just not sure how to handle/deal with it all. Tonight I plan to burry myself in the craft room and organize/reorganize, group, and structure the space so that I can get some crafting going. I don't have much of an appetite for anything lately. Not that my waist minds, lol. But a little aggravating. Thought i'd be able to stash some savings away on this next paycheck but probably not. Sometimes it all seems so overwhelming. Few more days till pay day, but even that's not really going to help. I can't remember what day the next part of the security deposit is due. I need to get my shit together. Need to make appointments that I don't have the money for. Should refill prescriptions that I don't really have the money for. Want to do all sorts of fun things that I really don't have the money for. Gas, food, rent, utilities, etc. Argh. 
 My brain needs a jump-start. Or a reset button. Something to ...

Monday, August 11, 2008


So we're moved. 

The back/craft room is the one room that's really still a mess. Which since it's my responsibility isn't really a surprise. 
I really (read really really really) like the house. Aesthetically it's coming together too, which is a plus. 

I've got a wish-list of tools and small things that I've got my eye on to keep my crafty-side efficient. It's nice to expand your skills, but sometimes that means you've got to expand your tools and unfortunately THAT means you've got to expend your money. 

I'm having an iffy day emotionally. Having trouble dragging myself out of this awkward sort of funk that's taken residence in my brain today. It never fails that mom succeeds in delivering an ego crushing blow ever so subtly. 

Finances are as tight as ever, but I'm doing my best to just keep focusing on the things that matter and not let it get in the way of day to day life. 

I think I should make some me time tonight. 

House warming-ish party soon, hopefully. 

Thursday, August 7, 2008

playing at work tsk tsk

Some "pop art" and a box for my business cards made from my business cards. 

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

"day by day collision called the art of growing up"

I feel really run down today. I know i didn't sleep solidly but i don't know ... it's like my brain is still asleep. 

I'm tired. And tired of battling with my self. 

I would really like to lose a few pounds. But at the same time I want to scream at the urge "get out of my head! I can't deal with you in my life right now!!". Weird, but whatever. 

I feel like my scars are screaming at me. The sight of them is more than bothersome lately. And it's really adding to the stress I'm feeling (or creating in my head) about my parents coming up on Friday. I always regret the words. 

Ugh my eyes just don't want to stay open... :( 

I've got a list of projects that i want to do just for me, but when i have time (which seems to be rare lately) I like to use it to do things for people or things that can get to etsy. 

Projects are piling up in my inbox as I try to type this so I guess that's all for now 

Monday, August 4, 2008

Breathe, please.

What's stressing me? What do I want to do about it? What can I do about it? What am I going to do to be able to continue working with this stress on my brain? 

What's my plan for packing tonight? For the rest of the week? For painting? 

Alright, first steps first. Lunch and then a mandala to chill out. On second thought, reverse that. 

Stressors: 1)Moving 2)Parents coming into town 3)Dog 4) Money 5) needing an outlet 6)Packing 7) did i say moving? 8) stomach

I've been keeping a little mental tally of the times SI has wandered across my brain and it's just not okay. The paging around here is obnoxious today!! I think I keep getting the hiccups from stress. Is that even possible? ARGH. My body is staging a rebellion ... I don't think it's the peaceful sort, either. I just want to like fast forward to a time when i'm on a real vacation with nothing to focus on except relaxing. Not even sure I could actually do that though, lol. I really like to eat lately and my body is showing it and I don't appreciate that. I'm so anxious I feel like I could go run around the building a few times. Maybe Odi can jog a bit with me tonight. My thoughts are so scattered! Bah! This is pointless. 4:43

motion city soundtrack "Everything is Alright"

Tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.
Oh please tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.

Give me a reason to end this discussion,
To break with tradition.
To fold and divide.

Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes,
Talking with strangers, waiting in line..
I'm through with these pills that make me sit still.
"Are you feeling fine?"
Yes, I feel just fine.

Tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.
Oh please tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.

I'm sick of the things I do when I'm nervous
Like cleaning the oven or checking my tires
Or counting the number of tiles in the ceiling..
Head for the hills, the kitchen's on fire!

I used to rely on self-medication,
I guess I still do that from time to time.
But I'm getting better at fighting the future,
"Someday you'll be fine.."
Yes, I'll be just fine.

Tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.
Oh please tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.

Give me a reason (I don't believe a word)
To end this discussion (of anything I've heard)
To break with tradition (they tell me that it's not so hard)
To fold and divide (it's not so hard)
So let's not get carried (away with everything)
Away with the process (from here to in-between)
of elimination (the long goodbye)
I don't want to waste your time.

Tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.
Oh please tell me that you're alright,
Yeah everything is alright.

Tell me that you're alright, (Hi, everything's great)
Yeah everything is alright. (Everything's fine)
Oh please tell me that you're alright, (Hi, everything's great)
Yeah everything is alright.
(Everything's fine)