I really miss Layla. We had to put her to sleep the day after christmas. She fell on christmas eve and didn't stand up on her own for almost two full days. She was so aggressive in the vet's office. I really wish she hadn't been. I hate remembering her that way. It's what needed to be done, I know this. But part of me really questioned it on the way home. She was almost 13. What is that in "dog years"? Almost 91 I think.

My emotions are all over the place again today and I'm hoping that I can keep things better in control tomorrow. I need to find my way back to a place where I'm taking control of what I'm feeling because right now, this feels like I'm attached to a yo-yo that I've handed to an unskilled 5 year old.