i am falling apart. I have been trying very very hard to just keep pushing through all of this but i am fucking running out of steam. I know what i could do to calm myself and probably get me through at least a few days in a calmer state, but i want new clothes and as stupid and as vain as that is, maybe it's enough. I kinda want to know that the people i'd fight for, would fight for me. something has to change or i' know i'll end up back in the hospital.